Master has been under stress lately. And He hasn't been feeling "as Dominant". By this I do not mean that He has relinquished any of His control over me, but rather He hasn't been very verbally or physically Dominant towards me lately. And sometimes, when this occurs for longer then say.. oh a day or two, I start to feel a little lost and not as centered. It is not that I can not function on my own. I know I can. And Master knows this as well. It is just that since I have become His slave and felt His control and His guidance it has become what I can only call an addiction. It is not what I would term a need, because I do not need it to survive in this world. I am addicted to my Master.
Please do not read into this and think that I am blind to this addiction or that I would "allow" something bad to happen to me to feed this addiction. That will not, and can not happen. First rule "kitten's physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being comes FIRST."
I try not to ask my Master for Him to be more Dominant towards me when He is really stressed, because that will only add more stress. So what I have started to do when I feel lost or start to feel like I am going through a "withdrawal" so to speak, is meditate. Ah, that beautiful word. Meditation. And sometimes during my meditation I will talk with what I like to call "Master's presence". Some other slaves may call it the "Inner Dom" or the "Dom inside my head". This helps me get a "fix" as well as center myself. The breathing techniques Master taught me for dealing with pain also helps. Those also center me. (I have Fibromyalgia. More information on this particular condition HERE.)
Master confronted me today because I have been acting different for the past week and I explained that part of it is because of the stress I am having at school at the moment. (It is post mid-term now and crunch time.) I also explained that the other part is because I have been a little lost because He has not been as Dominant. He said He understands that and told me that next time I am feeling a little lost to just tell Him, so He knows what is going on when it occurring and He can help me through it. I was wrong in not telling Him when it was occurring. He is not a mind reader, just as I am not. He has forgiven me for this as W/we have both been under a lot of stress lately. He knows I was not trying to add to His stress, but I also know that if He is stressed or not He wants to and needs to know what is going on with His property. He loves me. He is my Master, my Mate, my Husband and my best friend.
Thank You Master for being so understanding and patient with me. I love You.
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About kitten
Age: 24
Status: slave & wife to Master Coyote
Slave Number: 116-597-286
Height: 5'1
Weight: 100 lbs.
Fav. Colors: Red & Black
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